Because you wanted it. You demanded it via an email chain letter petition; "take a break from survival strategies and do something fun for Halloween" you said. "Say something interesting about fictional zombies" you said.
Too much seriousness, eh? Living is serious business, we all tend to take it much to lightly if you ask me.
Well, you ask, and you shall be rewarded.
10.28.2010
Zombie Hell is other people
[rewinding...]
Here we are, 7 am or so on a nice sunny Saturday morning, and your alarm clock is going off because you didn't turn it off. Blah blah blah, Zombie Apocalypse. Let's skip this part, we went over it once before. The difference here is that you didn't wake up alone, and you're very tempted to stay in bed for a while and get some Zombie Day action; I won't stop you, it might be your last good chance. Get back to me when you're done.
Yeah, you had a great weekend planned, all these things the two of you were going to do, like living, eating food that's been dead more than an hour, staying inside with nothing but each other for company. Well, you might get to do some of those things, so at least your weekend isn't ruined.
Here we are, 7 am or so on a nice sunny Saturday morning, and your alarm clock is going off because you didn't turn it off. Blah blah blah, Zombie Apocalypse. Let's skip this part, we went over it once before. The difference here is that you didn't wake up alone, and you're very tempted to stay in bed for a while and get some Zombie Day action; I won't stop you, it might be your last good chance. Get back to me when you're done.
Yeah, you had a great weekend planned, all these things the two of you were going to do, like living, eating food that's been dead more than an hour, staying inside with nothing but each other for company. Well, you might get to do some of those things, so at least your weekend isn't ruined.
10.21.2010
You think you know, but you have no idea.
That bit last time about not pretending to be a zombie really isn't about survival (unless you're dumb enough to try it, in which case I saved your life - your welcome, by the way), but it's something you might think of that you really shouldn't. It also brings up a great topic: Things you think you know!
You think you know: Zombies don't run, they shamble.
Well, you may be right, you may be wrong. Luckily, I don't have a zombie here to check it out on, so we'll have to theorize.
You think you know: Zombies don't run, they shamble.
Well, you may be right, you may be wrong. Luckily, I don't have a zombie here to check it out on, so we'll have to theorize.
10.13.2010
How Not to be Seen
We are ready to move around outside now! Pretty exciting, isn't it? So are you walking or driving? Gonna try driving, eh? well here's something to think about first.
You will be seen! Seen and heard, really; the hearing may be more important, as loud as your car probably is. At this point, you're probably happier about that electric car you bought than ever, right? Silent and life-preserving, or nearly so. Wait, you didn't buy an electric car. Well that's probably fine, it'll be hard to recharge it once the battery runs out anyway. Gas, on the other hand, will be easier to find, but like I said you run a greater risk of attracting attention.
Things that seem "close" by car are a hell of a long way away when you're walking. If it takes you ten or fifteen minutes to drive somewhere, it's probably a good idea to plan on taking the whole day to get there on foot. I suppose you're going to try proving me wrong, right? You're gonna try walking to your intended first-base location today, just to prove you know the route and how long it'll take you. Well, remember that you won't want to walk on the roads if you can help it; too open, too easy to be seen. You'll also be avoiding zombies and carrying everything you intend to possess, so don't think you'll move as fast then as you might today.
If you're driving, this rule is the king: Know Your Route! If you're going somewhere you're already familiar with, you need to know multiple ways to get there from where you are. The main intersections and major roads could easily be jammed up, so you'll want to know a back way. Those other roads will be less busy, but they're narrower and easier to jam up.
You will not keep your car very long, so don't get attached! The further you need to go from home, the more likely that you'll eventually encounter some kind of traffic jam or quarantine roadblock (ha!) that you just won't find a way around. There's good news for these situations though: somewhere up ahead there's a car that you can maneuver out of the situation onto relatively clear roads, it probably has the keys in it, and there's not likely to be any corpses to remove from it - unless they stayed in the car long enough to die from hunger, any corpses would have found their way out, one way or another. What you really want is a car that was abandoned in haste, so look for open doors in that situation.
Hot-wiring the car is a useful skill if you have it, but for legal reasons I can't help you figure it out. If you know the general idea, find some diagrams of the wiring for a car's ignition switch to study. I suppose it'll be different between different makes and models, but the more you know...
You will be seen! Seen and heard, really; the hearing may be more important, as loud as your car probably is. At this point, you're probably happier about that electric car you bought than ever, right? Silent and life-preserving, or nearly so. Wait, you didn't buy an electric car. Well that's probably fine, it'll be hard to recharge it once the battery runs out anyway. Gas, on the other hand, will be easier to find, but like I said you run a greater risk of attracting attention.
Things that seem "close" by car are a hell of a long way away when you're walking. If it takes you ten or fifteen minutes to drive somewhere, it's probably a good idea to plan on taking the whole day to get there on foot. I suppose you're going to try proving me wrong, right? You're gonna try walking to your intended first-base location today, just to prove you know the route and how long it'll take you. Well, remember that you won't want to walk on the roads if you can help it; too open, too easy to be seen. You'll also be avoiding zombies and carrying everything you intend to possess, so don't think you'll move as fast then as you might today.
If you're driving, this rule is the king: Know Your Route! If you're going somewhere you're already familiar with, you need to know multiple ways to get there from where you are. The main intersections and major roads could easily be jammed up, so you'll want to know a back way. Those other roads will be less busy, but they're narrower and easier to jam up.
You will not keep your car very long, so don't get attached! The further you need to go from home, the more likely that you'll eventually encounter some kind of traffic jam or quarantine roadblock (ha!) that you just won't find a way around. There's good news for these situations though: somewhere up ahead there's a car that you can maneuver out of the situation onto relatively clear roads, it probably has the keys in it, and there's not likely to be any corpses to remove from it - unless they stayed in the car long enough to die from hunger, any corpses would have found their way out, one way or another. What you really want is a car that was abandoned in haste, so look for open doors in that situation.
Hot-wiring the car is a useful skill if you have it, but for legal reasons I can't help you figure it out. If you know the general idea, find some diagrams of the wiring for a car's ignition switch to study. I suppose it'll be different between different makes and models, but the more you know...
10.07.2010
Life, People, and Things that happen Afterward.
Let's pretend for a minute.
Imagine if you will a world where more than 99% of humans are dead - not necessarily gone, but not breathing, not eating (food), and certainly not going to work doing the jobs that keep the world we know spinning at the speed we like.
What would it be like?
Imagine if you will a world where more than 99% of humans are dead - not necessarily gone, but not breathing, not eating (food), and certainly not going to work doing the jobs that keep the world we know spinning at the speed we like.
What would it be like?
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