Time Out: you're not really going outside, right?

So, theoretically, you're all set, right? You've got some food supplies, some tools, and (most importantly for the moment) some very passable instruments of death. Killing zombies isn't your goal, mind you - your goal is not to die. There are three real ways not to die during the zombie apocalypse:

1: Don't let the zombies catch you (i.e. run)

2: Don't let the zombies see you (i.e. hide)

3: Don't let the zombies kill you. (i.e. fortify)


In a way, there's two sides to all of the rules; one, you do while you're on the move, and the other you do while you're stopped. But you're never really stopped; under the Run rule, when you're not moving you're getting ready to move again. To hide on the move, you sneak; to hide in place, you just hide; we can talk more later about some ways to deal with those later.
Running and hiding are things we all know pretty well, but let's take a minute to think about how to keep the zombies from killing you.

Some folks call it a sling blade

By now you should be capable of leaving your bedroom alive. I have to be honest with you, if there are any zombies in your house before you wake up I don't expect you to leave that house alive. If you manage that, you've got the makings of a true survivor; zombie killing isn't the goal of survival, but being good at it will certainly help a lot. With the few real tools at your disposal in the living areas of your house, killing a zombie is quite an accomplishment.
A zombie in your dwelling area is what we'll call a "breach" situation; one or more zombies have gotten past your defensive line and is in your space, hunting you. A breach situation is probably the scariest scenario you can expect to face. If you're prepared for it, it's manageable as long as there's not too many of them; be prepared to lose one or more people in your group, though, because their screams are probably going to be the best warning you'll have that a breach has happened.

For you, a breach on Zombie Day will be hard to prepare for, so I don't expect you to live. I'm just hoping that you're far enough away from the real action to survive to leave your house. You're not that far, though, whatever you might think; the zombie contagion will cover ground as fast as cars drive or planes can fly. The farther you are away from a major city the better, especially if there's no major hospitals or airports nearby either. "Sick" people will get taken to hospitals, so as soon as the virus reaches your area it will find its way into a hospital; if it's a big hospital, so much the worse, and worst of all will be any kind of research hospital, because these will take in zombies from far away as soon as people realize that they can't diagnose the problem. Soon enough, a nurse will be bitten or otherwise exposed and the situation will explode.

Right now, you're probably seeing all kinds of craziness on your living room TV, holding tight to your fireplace poker and sticking your kitchen knives in your belt - you probably haven't thought to protect them (and yourself) with duct tape yet, but that's in the garage and you haven't worked up the courage to open any more doors yet. The zombies might be anywhere, right? But if they weren't in your house, they're probably not in your garage. Unless you left the garage door open? You probably shouldn't have.

First days are always the hardest

So again, it's 7 am and you've just found out that it's the Zombie Apocalypse. Feel free to turn on the TV (quietly) and see the news unfolding while it's still being broadcast. Maybe your area isn't in the thick of it yet - but by the time people really realize that it's the big ZA, you're definitely going to have a nice front-line view of the action. Let's hope for your sake that you saw the early signs: so-called "riots" and senseless violence spreading like a plague, probably in multiple cities. You'll know it's the apocalypse because even rioters take time to make slogan signs most of the time.

You need to get ready, and the only things on hand right away are the things in your house. We'll go through and rate most of the things you probably have based on their usefulness to you, either as a tool or a weapon.

Strategies for Survival

It's 7 am on a Saturday morning and your alarm clock is going off. You're not going to work today, but you've forgotten to disable it.
Well hurry up and turn it off, because it's the Zombie Apocalypse.