By now you should be capable of leaving your bedroom alive. I have to be honest with you, if there are any zombies in your house before you wake up I don't expect you to leave that house alive. If you manage that, you've got the makings of a true survivor; zombie killing isn't the goal of survival, but being good at it will certainly help a lot. With the few real tools at your disposal in the living areas of your house, killing a zombie is quite an accomplishment.
A zombie in your dwelling area is what we'll call a "breach" situation; one or more zombies have gotten past your defensive line and is in your space, hunting you. A breach situation is probably the scariest scenario you can expect to face. If you're prepared for it, it's manageable as long as there's not too many of them; be prepared to lose one or more people in your group, though, because their screams are probably going to be the best warning you'll have that a breach has happened.
For you, a breach on Zombie Day will be hard to prepare for, so I don't expect you to live. I'm just hoping that you're far enough away from the real action to survive to leave your house. You're not that far, though, whatever you might think; the zombie contagion will cover ground as fast as cars drive or planes can fly. The farther you are away from a major city the better, especially if there's no major hospitals or airports nearby either. "Sick" people will get taken to hospitals, so as soon as the virus reaches your area it will find its way into a hospital; if it's a big hospital, so much the worse, and worst of all will be any kind of research hospital, because these will take in zombies from far away as soon as people realize that they can't diagnose the problem. Soon enough, a nurse will be bitten or otherwise exposed and the situation will explode.
Right now, you're probably seeing all kinds of craziness on your living room TV, holding tight to your fireplace poker and sticking your kitchen knives in your belt - you probably haven't thought to protect them (and yourself) with duct tape yet, but that's in the garage and you haven't worked up the courage to open any more doors yet. The zombies might be anywhere, right? But if they weren't in your house, they're probably not in your garage. Unless you left the garage door open? You probably shouldn't have.
It's time now to make a decision, the first really big choice you need to make. Do you leave your house or not? Obviously at this point the house is still zombie-free. We'll consider this location, and other possible locations to come, much like we did your household items when deciding what you would use to protect yourself last time.
Your House!
As a defensible location: Lots of windows, easy to break if a zombie sees you inside. You're familiar with it, so if you have to run around inside you won't trip over everything.
Run: If you have to leave in a hurry, you know where all the doors are. The problem will be how many there are and where; if your home is breached, it will start with one spot and probably spread to others after a minute or two, leaving you with a limited window of opportunity for escape by normal means. If they break open a window, you've got maybe two or even three doors to leave from; by the time they find one or two of those doors, you might have to find your way out of one of the windows, which will be slower and harder. Have multiple exit plans ready! A pack with everything you'll need to take with you should be near you all the time, ready to grab and go.
Hide: Are you a shut-in with blinds that block out all possible views from outside? if so, you can be sure that you won't be seen, so long as you're not careless with lights at night. If you're going to bunker down, you'll want to cover them all up with boards to keep the zombies from breaking through. The problem here is when you run out of food; your supply won't last forever, however much you have. If you come back to your house, you might lead the zombies to you without realizing it. This risk only increases the more you have to do it, so consider how long a trip it would be to and from your food source, and how large that source is, when making your decision.
Fortify: Lots of potential for making defenses stronger, but each point of entry you block is also a point of exit you lose. Sooner or later you have to realize that you'll either be overrun or forced to abandon this place; you simply can't make all the improvements you need here to make it a real permanent location, never mind being able to secure the resources you need as well. What you do will depend on your home's design; one convenient design is a two-story with only one set of stairs to the top floor. This lets you use the lower floor as a buffer area, lots of traps and barricades to slow the zombies down, and you can make up another barricade to firmly block off the stairway in case they make it that far.
As I said, though, there's only two ways staying in your own house can end: you leave, or you die inside. Maybe you die of old age, maybe of hunger, maybe you get sick - but realistically, it's probably going to be zombies. Get used to it and plan your excursion - leaving is better than dying, right? So since you know you'll have to go outside, suck it up and go in your garage - and shut the door once you're in there! It might attract the wrong kind of attention, but it's Zombie Day - any zombies out there have plenty to occupy their attention, and hopefully you're able to defend yourself from the one or two that might be drawn your way before the door is shut to block them out.
So here you are. Look around yourself not as a proud homeowner (or renter) - think like both a professional zombie hunter and a homeless person. What can you carry with you that will be useful? What can you use to kill zombies, or traveling gangs of gasoline-hungry cannibals?
Your first instinct is to check your toolbox, right? As good as anywhere. Let's start there.
A hammer:
It's the one tool that everyone has.
As a weapon: Light and easy to handle, but doesn't have the power for a serious life-saving blow. The claw side might be able to penetrate the skull enough to damage the brain enough to maybe slow the zombie down or kill it... but the angle is tricky, there's no promises here. It's durable, though, almost guaranteed to outlive you.
As a survival aid: Lots of stuff you can do with a good hammer. Lots of stuff can substitute for a hammer, though! The real value of a hammer is the claw, surprisingly. Being able to pry things apart will be a major asset.
Run: Fairly lightweight, and the head can be hooked onto lots of different kinds of holders. Super portable.
Hide: Small and can be tucked away easily.
Fortify: Can't beat it for hammering nails, and hammering nails will be one of the key tasks for any fortifications you make to any location. Also great for breaking things apart when gathering materials and resources.
Screwdriver:
As a weapon: It's a lot like a pointed stick, but made of metal. The pointy end works great for poking out a zombie eye and penetrating into the zombie brain; it's less likely to break doing so, too. Gotta be quick in scrambling those brains, though, or the zombie's gonna bite your hand.
As a survival aid: All kinds of uses; assembling and disassembling things, mostly.
Run: like the hammer, it's really portable
Hide: they tend to have bright-colored handles, so keep them hidden away if you can. They'll stand out too much otherwise.
Fortify: Put things together, take them apart. You'll keep your pieces in better shape if you can disassemble them without breaking them apart.
Power drill:
As a weapon: Very dramatic, not very practical. And it requires electricity, which won't last forever.
As a survival aid: While you have electricity, this will speed up your ability to build up your defenses - a sure benefit if you plan to hold out a day or two in your house before testing the undead waters.
Run: heavy and bulky, this will not make it easier to move quickly. Battery models won't last long enough to be useful on the run, and cords will have to be rolled up to keep you from tripping on them. That's not a plus.
Hide: pretty loud when you're using it, so get your use out of it quickly if you're going to use it at all. Once the zombie density maxes out in your area, you won't want to touch it.
Fortify: Fantastic anywhere that happens to have power, whether the power's still on or if it has a generator. Still, all its functions can be substituted for with non-powered units; you might want to watch some "The Woodwright's Shop" to bone up on some old fashioned techniques. Roy Underhill has a decent shot of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse; I've invited him to join my compound, but I have yet to hear back.
Flashlight:
As a weapon: Are we talking rinky-dinky keychain model here or a police-issue four-D-cell "I'm also a baton" model? You'll be able to tell by holding it if it will make a decent weapon. Big, metal, and heavy are three things to look for.
As a survival tool: Night vision isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes it's just too dark. Use it sparingly, but you'll definitely want a decent flashlight with you.
Run: It really depends on your flashlight, but generally they're easily carried in bags or hooked to your belt.
Hide: Don't ever use it out in the open, unless you actually want zombies to find you. Even in small, remote spaces, bits of light might make it out to where they can be seen from outside, and the movement will certainly attract notice.
Fortify: It doesn't add much to your defense or offense, but it's good to have if you're somewhere you can use it. Batteries will outlast most living humans and are pretty much everywhere, so you'll be able to keep it charged and ready pretty easily, especially if you don't use it too often.
As for the toolbox itself? Throw most of it out. Keep just the bare essentials in there and you're good to go. Don't include anything you don't really think could be useful, but you've probably got a couple things that are just good tools to have, like pliers, vice-grips, and so on. You've got some kind of file to keep your tools sharp in there, right? that's good, because it's gonna be getting a lot of use.
Shovels and rakes:
If you've got a yard you probably have both.
As a weapon: Break off the head and you've got your best pointed stick yet! But that's not the end of it, we can do a lot better with these. If you have the means to cut down the spoon of the shovel into a more spear-like shape, or at least sharpen it really well, the shovel will be your new best friend. If you can't do that, duct tape a knife to one end.
As a survival aid: The shafts will be useful for carrying things, but really not much more. An unmodified shovel will be needed for burying dead friends and digging latrines, which is a good idea.
Run: A little big, but easy enough to carry if you don't have to have much more in your hands. Backpacks can be fitted with little loops to stick the shaft through
Hide: Too big to hide easily, it's not going to help.
Fortify: Shovels can help dig pits and underground hiding areas; rakes (especially gravel rakes, the ones with the short thick spikes) are good for clearing dirt and leveling out ground.
Moving on then. You've got your toolbox ready to go, might as well stick it on the hood of your car. Bigger tools that might come in handy later, like hacksaws, can be included if you've got room in your car.
That is, if you can take your car!
How bad is it already? Streets jammed up yet? Can you go offroad? Chances are good that you'll be able to move slowly through your local area if it's not too densely populated; highways and interstates might become a problem, but you'll probably be able to make it from A to B by taking the long way around, while your gas lasts. There's gonna be a lot of abandoned cars, though; for the first month or two, you'll be able to siphon all you need before gas pirates start showing up in force. You just need something to siphon into; get yourself a nice big 10-gallon gas can when you get a chance, but that's a thought for later.
So your tools are chosen and sitting on or in your car. Did you forget to grab the duct tape? Of course not, you're smart, right? What else you got?
Weed Eater:
As a weapon: Long, ungainly, well enough balanced but not meant to be held at the angle you'd need for a real weapon. You gonna take out their ankles with plastic string? Not likely. Wait though - do you have the fancy blade attachment? Still rubbish; they're probably plastic too, and 99% of those are still designed not to hurt humans, such as is possible.
As a survival aid: Not good for much, unless you plan to use it to slow down people less fit to survive than you are yourself.
Run: Big, heavy, pretty useless. Of all things you could ever consider, this would be the stupidest thing to bring with you if you have to leave in a hurry.
Hide: On the off chance you were to use it, for reasons inconceivable to me, the noise would certainly attract attention.
Fortify: It's a pretty specialized piece of equipment, but you never know when you'll be wanting a low-power high-speed motor, maybe as a bit of bait for a trap or something to attract attention away from your real location. The drive shaft for the motor, being at an angle, might also have some use for you down the line - but then, by the time you get to the point where you'll need those things, you'll be able to send out a scavenging party to find them.
The Lawnmower:
As a weapon: Lift it up and swing it around, eh? Sure, right.
As a survival aid: The motor might come in handy down the line, but the need won't be great or soon.
Run: ... unless it's a riding lawnmower, it's not gonna help you, and not much then.
Hide: It's as conspicuous as it gets.
Fortify: Again, the motor might come in handy. It's stronger than the weedeater, so it'll have more potential applications. The real potential for use here, though, is one specific piece on the underside...
The Lawnmower Blade:
As a weapon: Nice and long, easy to sharpen up well. Hard to grip, though. You've got two basic options: Duct tape one end, nice and tight, so it won't cut your hand, or drill a small hole through which you can insert a strap of some kind. Some folks call that a sling blade. The drilling would be tough, but having that hole in one end will be useful; if you can manage it, it's a good option. You'll need to clean off a lot of grass fiber before you can really sharpen it, though.
As a survival aid: the thick metal will be good for digging up roots and such, if you know what kind to find. Just as good for breaking windows and clearing out the glass shards as it is for cracking zombie heads.
Run: portable! not well designed for hanging onto your pants or your pack, but you can make helpful modifications to it. Still, it's light enough and useful enough to be part of your "on the go" pack.
Hide: Aside from zombies, this is something you could conceivable hide in your pant leg or strapped to your back when dealing with unfriendly humans.
Fortify: If you lack a machete, the sling blade will do the job of breaking a lot of branches; or, if you lack an axe, it can eventually chop through wood.
Speaking of machetes and axes...
Machete: (if you have one; you should)
As a weapon: A very decent weapon, if it's a decent machete. Get a cheap one and that's what you end up with. Not powerful enough to decapitate, but light and fast enough for easy self-defense. The broad, thin blade might end up getting stuck in whatever you stick it in; don't wait around to get it out if it feels like it's well in there.
As a survival aid: America is rather lacking in jungles to hack through, so this might not be the most necessary thing in that regard.
Run: These usually have a handy hole in the handle, if they don't actually come with a wrist strap. This strap can be tied to just about anything.
Hide: usually pretty shiny, so beware of attention-catching reflections. It's better if you have some kind of sheath for it.
Fortify: not really that useful unless you have some light brush to clear for your campsite.
An axe:
As a weapon: Big wood-splitting axes have power but are hard to control; you don't have time to learn to use them as a real weapon. Smaller axes, like a fireman's axe, do pretty well. One- or two-handed, very sharp (you do keep it sharpened i hope?) and easy to sharpen, it's a very maintainable weapon. Light and quick, too! It'll probably break whatever it doesn't cut off. Beware of skulls, mind you; once you break through the skull it'll be easy enough to get stuck, and it's not shaped well for extraction from skulls if you can't easily pull it back at the angle it went in. Since that angle is probably top-down or some other downward angle, it's gonna just stay in any head it sticks to if it doesn't kill the owner.
As a survival tool: You'll be surprised how often you can use this thing! It chops, it digs, it makes curly fries! well, not really that unless you really know what you're doing. still, pretty useful all the same.
Run: Like the hammer, it's got a big head that can easily hook into loops and holsters of all kinds.
Hide: It's small and portable, doesn't make much noise when you use it to kill something. Really great.
Fortify: It doesn't make precise cuts, but if you have a limited selection of tools handy it makes very big cuts and that might be all you need.
Gas can for your lawnmower: You can burn zombies with gas, but it's not as useful as you might think. What's worse than 10,000 zombies? 9,995 zombies, plus five more that are on fire and still trying to kill you. You'll want to hold onto it though, for siphoning gas and making campfires really easy to start. Let your fire burn for a bit before cooking if you do start it this way though.... gas fumes, not good for you. Not that that's your main concern at this point in your life, but still... you probably don't know how to build a real campfire yet, though you'll certainly learn quick after you've built a couple of your own. For siphoning, you'll also need a bit of hose. Just cut off 6 or 10 feet; this will let you get right to the bottom of any tank someone else may have gotten to before you, plus give you a little extra in case you need it for something else.
Wait though. What if you don't have a garage? I guess you have all your tools and stuff somewhere in your house (or apartment, in this case). So much the better for you, since you don't have to open a scary door to get at them - but you probably don't have any of the really good stuff most of us need a garage for. And your car is also outside.... just make whatever preparations you can, including food.
Do I need to mention what food to bring? You should already know that dry and canned food will be the only thing you can count on in the future, but for now bring whatever fresh fruits and vegetables you can; try to make them last, because they have nutrients you'll dearly treasure in the future. They won't last forever, so there's no sense in just wasting them by leaving them behind. If you have to leave some of your cans, that's a shame, but it's just as stupid to be eating out of your cans on Night 1 of your attempt at survival. Anything that needs constant refrigeration might be better left behind (no fish), but most of your fruits and vegetables are worth bringing. Just to get the most out of your perishable resources, you might stay around long enough to eat or preserve whatever wouldn't last a couple days on the run. Also, bring your alcohol. Not so much the beer, though that's quite welcome, but hard alcohol like tequila and whiskey carry a lot of morale boosting power in relatively small volume. Morale is important, and you probably already feel like a good hard drink. Just... you know... realize that driving drunk before the Zombie Apocalypse isn't nearly as dangerous as walking around outside drunk after it begins. "please drink responsibly" indeed.
So now, you're as ready to leave your house as you're ever going to be. If you wanna stick around, make whatever improvements and defenses you're going to do right away now that you have some basic tools to protect yourself. Don't wait until the zombies are coming. Don't go outside to do them if they're already there.
But sooner or later you're going to leave. You need to decide where to go. Remember, your main goal is to find a group, pool resources and share work. Your ultimate goal is to find a place to settle permanently, a place where humanity can sit tight and outlive the zombies. I have such a place; when the time comes, I'll make sure you can find me. First things first though, you'll need to live long enough to get there. You've probably used up most of your first day with your initial preparations, and I can tell you that it was time well spent. Your next step is to decide what the next step is; do you gather your family, go it alone? Where do you actually go next? So many options, and we'll consider some of the most likely next time.
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